When things don't go as planned.....

Pregnancy is one of those times when things just cannot be controlled or even predicted. The simple things like whether the baby will be a boy or a girl, where the placenta is attached or even how you carry the baby are not things you can predict.
There are many of us that are planners, we make a plan and expect to be able to follow it.
I have seen many moms who are thrown for a loop by unexpected loops that come to them through pregnancy, and one of the best things you can do for yourself, is prepare for the unexpected!

Ask yourself some questions, what if something that is unexpected happens? How would I like it handled?
Some topics might have to do with the baby's position. What if the baby is breech, posterior, or just an abnormal positioning that causes a long labor? What kind of interventions would you want made in this case?
If your baby was born early, what kind of things would you like in place?

Of course, you do not want to stress over "What if's", but just sort of contemplate them, let someone know, write it down and let it go. I have seen mothers who have had some sudden complications that led them to an early delivery that they had not even thought about, and it is hard (and still, even if you prepared for it, would be hard) to wrap your mind about everything and if you never considered it, is even harder.

Educating yourself on many topics so you know why you want to do something.
Do you want pain medication in labor? If your baby is not positioned the way he should be, your labor may be longer than you might think, would you want to be offered pain medication then? What types do you absolutely not want to take?
If you were going to end up having to have a c-section after a long labor, who would you want to stay with the baby and would you want someone to stay with you while they finish up the surgery?
What types of medication are okay for a breastfeeding baby? It is always advisable to check even on doctors as sometimes they forget too, they are only human!

I know many mothers feel that when things do not go "normal" or according to plan, they can feel that they have somehow failed. This could not be further from the truth! I think this is one reason it is important to have a good support system around you, before, during and after birth to make sure you know that there is always the unexpected in pregnancy and delivery.
It is the normal part of the abnormal!!!

So, prepare for the unexpected, let someone know, even if it is just on a piece of paper, and then relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

Interesting...

Hospital's banning elective c-sections

This article explains how it can be dangerous to just schedule a c-section or induction based on convenience. It explains how many hospitals are banning it, but while I have noticed that many doctors are making women wait a little longer thankfully, I still see a trend to c-sections. I am thankful that the info is getting out there!

Body Image in pregnancy

"Oh, look at that cute belly!!! Can I touch?" The sentence seems like it gets said a lot to pregnant moms. The asking if they can touch, not always as much as they ask as they are touching.

But if you are a mom who feels ungainly and ugly in pregnancy, you are not alone.
Many women struggle, even though in others eyes, they are beautiful and are told so.
They see the love handles that they wished were gone before they had to gain this mandatory weight. They glimpse the cellulite that is on their thighs, with the extra weight gain has become more apparent. The stretch marks on the stomach that you wonder if those models in the pregnant mom shoot covered with makeup....

What are some things we can do to combat this?

I have found that having a plan for a healthy weight gain can help us not only during pregnancy, but afterwards as well.

- Talk to your care provider about a healthy weight gain for you. It varies from person to person, depending on your weight.
- Figure out a calorie goal or the types of foods you should be eating every day as a pregnant mom. I found that aiming for the foods I had to eat was easier than focusing on the things I shouldn't eat. It can be very filling if you make yourself eat 7-9 servings of vegetables, 4-6 servings of fruits, 2 grains, 2-3 servings of protein, 2-4 servings of milk. I suffered from an intolerance of sugar in my pregnancies, it was not gestational diabetes, but just made me very ill. Cutting out sugar though really helped me to gain weight that came off easier.
-I also had one day a week, I could have a treat if I wanted it. That helped because you were not limiting yourself completely.
- Make an exercise plan. This can be anything as simple as a walk everyday....from 5-15 minutes daily at least. Vary your routine, making it one day, you do exercises while cleaning the kitchen. The next day you play ball with your kids, and the next day take a walk.

Spend some money on at least one pretty thing that you feel good in for your pregnancy. It might be a new bra, some wonderful smelling lotion, a pretty shirt or dress. Often we do not spend money on ourselves when we are pregnant as it is such short time, but I think it can really effect our pregnancy, when our mood is down and we do not feel good about ourselves.

Links to interesting posts pertaining to pregnancy

Doula Service
A little bit about me and some pictures

This series of posts on Amy's Finer Things is really good. It is called "Why didn't anyone tell me?"

Postpartum Body

Labor Support

Solid Foods

Elective induction

Bed Rest

Pregnancy after 35

Symptoms of Postpartum Depression

Eating Issues in pregnancy

Pregnancy is when you are eating for two!!! Most women are excited to learn about the extra calories they will need while pregnant with their little one...but there are some women who honestly struggle with the weight gain in pregnancy.

Body Image issues are common in our society today. We all know the magazine covers in the grocery store showing so and so's new flab they tried to cover up, or the good shot of someone's ribs showing through a bathing suit or just a perfect model's body that we know we will never have.

Eating disorders are becoming more and more common in daily life, and many women who struggle with them, you may never know they struggle as they might not be 84 lbs. and look like death warmed-over. They may be your neighbor who looks like she struggles with her weight or the person whom you are jealous of her figure.
They may not struggle with a full on eating disorder, but they may have eating issues.

I have seen many eating issues that actually originate with good intentions. The fad that has been going around with cutting out different food groups, types of foods and avoiding groups of foods. Cleanses, excessive vitamins, excessive exercise among other things can be dangerous to your baby while pregnant.

While some of them may sounds good to start with, if you tend towards worrying about your body image while not pregnant, it is a good idea to get some extra support while pregnant.

Some ideas that can help you:
1)Have someone help you make a healthy diet plan- this could be a doctor, midwife, but it could also be a doula or a good friend who has a balanced diet.
2) Make sure to avoid drastic cutting out. Don't cut out main food groups while pregnant. It is normal for your stomach to be more sensitive while pregnant, but cutting out wheat, dairy and all acid based vegetables can really limit the amount of calories you can ingest. When you are not taking in enough calories while pregnant, sometimes you will still gain weight like normal, but it can leach minerals and strength from your own body.
3) Take your vitamins, but don't go over the top on them. Too many vitamins does not replace a poor diet.
4) Exercise daily. Make sure you are not under exercising or over exercising. If you are limiting your food intake, and overexercising, your baby can suffer. This is especially important after you have the baby, and are breastfeeding. Excessive exercise, with limited food means your breast milk can be the first to go.
5) Remember that when you do not eat a food for awhile, it can hurt your stomach when you try it. Plain old food can hurt your stomach if you do not eat for awhile. Remember the holocaust victims? Many of them died from eating plain food because their stomachs could not handle too much too fast. You need to eat small meals, frequently, that are full of protein, vegetables, whole grains and some fruit and dairy. Limit sugars or completely avoid! Add some good fats into your diet, but make sure you are not rejecting food simply based on not wanting to get sick.

Question:
So, how do I plan a healthy diet, when I have a fear of gaining weight? I plan meals and then I don't eat them, as I sit down and I feel ill after putting a bite in my mouth as I see the weight just piling on? I am gaining weight in spite of not eating. Why is it so important?

Answer:
I know that it is easy to think when you are gaining weight that you must be doing fine. There are other things to think about though. Weight gain is not the only thing to worry about. When you are limiting your intake, you are limiting the amount of food that is going to the placental development, which feeds your baby. When you are not eating, the body has to burn some of your fat stores, which produces ketones. Ketones can be dangerous to your baby as it can be toxic when this source of nutrition passes to the baby.

Question:
I don't want anyone to know or think I have a problem? Isn't an eating disorder considered a mental illness?

Answer:
Being honest with yourself and your care provider can be the safest thing for you and your baby. It is hard to admit we have a problem, but it can be the best thing all around. They can understand your struggles with not wanting to be weighed better that way, give you tips on how to provide nutrition to your baby, even when you do not want to eat.

Question:
I want to breastfeed my next baby. I struggled breastfeeding my previous baby, but I wanted to lose weight right away. I couldn't stand the jelly belly. How can I lose weight and breastfeed?

Answer:
Breastfeeding requires a minimum of 1500 calories a day. That is not counting for the excess you will need to maintain your health. You need to figure out what you need to maintain a adequate milk production. Exercise in moderation can help with tightening muscles that got stretched out in pregnancy, but a healthy diet. The weight will come off with a healthy diet and moderate exercise. Breastfeeding is important to your baby's health and the sacrifice of waiting to lose that last bit of weight can be an important sacrifice for the future health of your baby. Lack of calories will cut back on your milk production and can put you at risk for PPD.


Some good resources to read:
Dealing with eating issues in pregnancy

Pregnancy complications with mothers with eating disorders

Morning sickness

Morning sickness is a woe that hits many pregnant women. Some people are blessed with the lack of it, but as it is a sign of healthy pregnancy hormones, some of us are thankful for it, while hating it at the same time.

So, we all read the tips for helping with the sickness. One article says if pregnant women eat large amounts of beans, it will reduce their sickness, while another proclaims a herbal cure.
One thing to remember is to make sure to check with your care provider before starting any special diet or herbs. Some of them are not safe for pregnancy.

Across the board though, there are some things that seem to help with morning sickness.
If you are overtired or lack sleep, you will probably be sicker. If you have more than one child, you know that lack of sleep is a part of life, but if you can manage to squeeze in a nap or get to bed earlier, or even sleep in a bit, sometimes you will find morning sickness is not as hard to handle. How to practically do that?
When I had little ones, I would set one on the end of the couch with a book and the other behind my legs and then I would fall asleep. If they moved, I felt them. It is not ideal, but a way to get a cat nap in the moment.

Liquids can often be hard to get down, but sometimes bubbles can help. Sugar was a trigger for me, so I drank lemon club soda. The acid seemed to help and the bubbles to keep me hydrated. I also did some plain herbal teas that I could sip on. Again, make sure to check with your doctor to make sure your tea is safe.

Distractions- this could be a funny movie, a good book, staying busy with a project unrelated to food. It can help, but don't overtire yourself. Overtiring yourself can make you sicker than ever.

Avoid evening activities.

Keep well hydrated and even if you know it is going to come back up, it is better to eat a little as some nutrition will make it to the baby.

Find a list of good remedies that you would like to try. Collect about 30 of them. Write them on a calendar and work your way through them, one day at a time. Write notes on what worked and what did not work. Try to make enough of them that you can get through them and by the time you are done, hopefully morning sickness will be over.

If you find yourself getting very dehydrated, vomiting everything you eat, please call your caregiver right away. You may need some medical help to get you through this.

I found personally that sugar was a big trigger for me, I avoided it and it really helped ease the morning sickness.

You would think....

...it would easy for me to think of many pregnancy topics! But for some reason, I want them to be so good that I over think it and then do not write at all! It does not help when you are trying to build a blog!