Postpartum Support

"I would love to rest after I have my baby, but I don't have any family around, so I have to jump right back into my daily activities."

"I know other moms need rest after having a baby, but I really need activity to feel good. I start exercising a couple weeks after my baby was born. I did fine with it." 

"I didn't make enough milk for my baby. I had to supplement when she/he was 2 weeks old."

We may have all heard these statements at one time or another. Maybe we said them even, ourselves. 

I know when I had my first baby, I was so pumped up to be done with being pregnant, I was on top of the world. I was sore, didn't feel amazing all the time, but I felt much better than when I was pregnant. I got up and made an apple pie a few days after giving birth. I wanted a pie, and since I felt good, I thought I would do it. 

When I finished, there was a heavy feeling in my legs and my lower abdomen. I felt like I was going to vomit. I finished the pie, and on wobbly legs made my way to bed without eating any. I was so sick feeling. 

I realized later, just because you feel great, doesn't mean you are great. Postpartum, when we take care of yourself, you will feel much better than you might otherwise.  

There are many good things in life, when we are in good or decent health. Exercise is one those things. It can improve your health many times. 

However, after a woman gives birth, no matter how fit she was before she gave birth, is not one of those times. 

Every single woman that gives birth has the same basic things that happen to her. Some women have more complications and others less complications. But we all have a uterus stretched out to about 38-42+ cm. We all have a placenta that is about the size of a small dinner plate at least attached to us. When we give birth, the uterus undergoes a dramatic seize change, the placenta is detached, which leaves a wound that has to heal. The uterus, suspended from our round ligaments, suddenly is decreased in size. Those ligaments need time to not have a heavy ball (the uterus), bouncing around on the end of them like bungie cables. 

1. Take time to rest. Rest will help you to be able to get back to your activities in a healthy manner. If you do not rest, but expend energy into things like exercise, even basic daily activities, in those first ten days to two weeks, your body will have to draw from somewhere else. This means, generally the things that the body first believes to be expendable. Teeth, breastmilk,  and the like are not life threatening if it pulls from those. It believes you must be threatened, if you are expending that much energy after just having a baby. So, it pulls from your bones, your teeth, your milk can decrease or just not come in like it should. Remember to take the time to protect your lifelong health and rest for ten days to two weeks after birth. 
2. Nourish your body. We can get caught in a trap of regaining our figures, right from the very get go after a birth. We are trying to replenish blood, fluids, make milk that is nourishing for our little one if we are breastfeeding, fight infection, make immunities for our new one, and give ourselves strength, just to wake up. It is a lot of work to grow a baby, both inside and out. Even if you are not breastfeeding, you have a lot of work to do to heal yourself. Give yourself good food, and enough of it. Green leafy vegetables, protein, whole grains, healthy fats and lots of fluids without caffeine and sugar are important. If you want to drop pounds, skip the sugar out of anything, but focus on good nutrition. Let your body heal from the inside out. If you are not taking the time to be nourished, you will not be able to recover. You will not be able to be the best mother to your child(ren) and take care of yourself. 
3. Take Help. If someone offers you a meal, to do laundry, or says, "Let me know if you need anything." Please take them up on it. They may be shocked or surprised, but it will help you and you might end up with a closer friend. I know many people do not have anyone that will offer for that, which I feel is very sad, but I totally relate. I had babies without a community around that was helpful on a daily basis, and it is a lonely existence. I highly encourage you, in your pregnancy, to seek out your community beforehand so you have support after birth. If you do not have it in a community, hire some or see if there are resources you can take advantage of  that are not too extending financially. Do not take advantage of others, by expecting a maid service for nothing. But if you have no help, plan on hiring a housecleaner twice in the first two weeks. It will cost about $40-80, depending on who and how long you hire them for. I have seen housecleaners that charge $15 an hour even that do a wonderful job. But when all else fails, remember that your family will not die eating PB and J sandwiches every day, unless they are allergic. They will be filled and fine to do that for two weeks. They may complain, but it is okay to do what you can do and not do the rest. 
4. Don't go back to normal. Normal is overrated. It is really not what you should be doing or planning on doing for at least 4-6 weeks. It is a process that you will work back up to. Give yourself time. Don't rush back to mommy and me class, going to the grocery store or if you are a church goer, back to church. Give yourself time. Check if any places in your area offer a click and pull grocery option. See if a friend can stop and pick up milk, eggs, bread, lunch meat and apples for you. It will not only protect you from the germs that are out and about, but it will tell people that you need help. You need their support and they can feel more free to offer it. 

Postpartum can be a difficult season. But with some planning and careful info on why you are taking care of yourself still, it can help you with your long term health goals. It can also help reduce the risk of postpartum depression or severe baby blues when we care for ourselves in this way.

This post, written by a talented blogger, also shares some good preparation for the postpartum period as well that you might find helpful. "Preparing for Postpartum"

I hope this gives you some hope about the postpartum season. If there was something that really helped you postpartum, would you like to share that with us? We would love to hear it! 

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1 reason I would recommend hiring a doula...

What is one reason I would recommend hiring a doula? There are many reasons, but the #1 reason that I would say stands out from all of the others, would be that you need one.

You may not know how much you need one. You may have even had great birth experiences without one. I will tell you, it is kind of like something you cannot explain or tell someone about, until you have experienced it.

A good doula is worth her weight in gold! They are worth the cost not only to the laboring mother, but also to the father. Someone said recently, "Hire a doula if your husband is not up to the task!" I would counter that statement with the thought..."Hire a doula if your husband is up to the task, but he wants to do better."

Do you think you might want more children later? Often a doula can help your husband to not see birth as a terrifying experience, but instead one that he felt empowered to succeed at, in helping his wife to give birth to their child. He may not remember the woman that helped him learn to support his wife, but he will remember that he did not feel helpless when she was giving birth. He was given a job to do and the instructions how to do it. The best doula is often the one you don't remember them talking much, their actions are smooth and subtle.

They may work tirelessly to be holding counter pressure on the laboring woman's back so the husband can look into her eyes and tell her what a wonderful job she is doing. They can run for the glass of water, pour water continuously over the belly, or do hip squeezes for hours on end. They can show them where to place your hands when a contraction comes over the laboring woman, and breathe through the crest.

A doula is someone that will be there for others, not just the laboring woman.

If you are looking for a doula in your area, there are many ways to find one. Doula Match is a good source for many areas.

In our local area, we created a website with a directory of doulas. Many areas have this as well. To view our website Flathead Valley Doulas you can view each different doulas skills and see if there is one that best fits your specific needs.

Google your area and see doulas that are available in your area. Also, check with local care providers as far as what doulas they recommend.

Checking through certification venues for doulas also, is another way to find them. CAPPA and DONA are two highly respected ones. If you do not see a doula listed in your area, give them a call as sometimes they have ones that did not finish certification, but are trained.

So, one reason I would recommend hiring a doula? I would recommend hiring a doula for a more positive birth experience, for all those involved.

Guest Post from Janelle- Natural Birth after Medicated one- My Story!

We are excited to have Janelle Troyer here to share with us about her birth experiences as well as having a natural birth after a medicated one. Welcome to the blog, Janelle!

I’m the proud mommy to 6 wonderful blessings ranging in age from 11 to 8 months old. When I started having children, I never thought I’d have 3 children, let alone 6. We had the very typical mind-set of “We’ll have 2, 3 if the first 2 are the same gender…maybe”. My view toward child birth was also very typical. With my first, I watched A Baby Story and Birth Day on Discovery Health and learned all I could about this very “medical” process of child birth. I learned all about the interventions that are very common in a hospital birth (which, of course, I was having—who gives birth in any other way?). As my due date got closer, I wrote up my birth plan. I knew I wanted my baby to nurse as soon as possible. I didn’t want her to have any pacifiers, lest she get “nipple confusion”, and I had decided that an epidural sounded like a very good option. I’d tough it out as long as I could and when I couldn’t stand it any longer (but no sooner than 6cm!), I’d get an epidural. That’s what I learned on the shows and it sounded good to me.

I ended up going 10 days overdue (which was WAY more than enough for me) and was thrilled when they decided to admit me and induce my labor. I was so excited to meet my baby girl, and so tired of being pregnant that I just wanted to get the show on the road. I had no idea what to expect. It was painful! I knew it’d be painful, so that wasn’t surprising…but when they finally checked me and said that I was at a 6, I was THRILLED to see the anesthesiologist and get my epidural. Everything went as it was supposed, I progressed quickly and gave birth with no pain and no real sensation. So that is how it’s done. Not too shabby, eh?

When I gave birth to baby #2, I went for an induction again. This time it was for a different reason. With my first, my husband was deployed and was halfway across the world when our daughter was born. It was very difficult and I was not risking him missing the birth of our second baby…so I was induced 2 days before my due date. With this one, I had heard about something called an intrathecal. It’s similar to an epidural in that it goes in your back, but it’s a one time shot and lasts for a shorter period of time. I thought it sounded like a good option—my cousin had one and she raved about it. Well then, if it was good for her, it was good for me! I again toughed it out as long as I could, got the intrathecal at around 5-6cm and was shocked when it wore off in 45 minutes!! They came in to give me another shot, but before they could do it, I had to push. A couple of pushes later, my second beautiful daughter came into the world. This time I was able to experience the thrill of the urge to push. I felt her being born and honestly, it was a high like no other! I realized what I had missed in having an epidural with NO sensation with my first. “If” I ever had another baby, I thought that maybe I could be one of those crazy ladies who chooses to deliver without ANY meds. What a revolutionary idea!

Praise the Lord, we decided to try for a boy. The Lord blessed us with what we desired with a precious baby boy for baby #3. This was the first baby I really, really wanted to give birth to without medication. I thought I could do it, but when the Pitocin kicked in (yes, I was induced again), my uterus was hyper-stimulated and I could NOT endure the constant, long contractions. I have a fairly high pain threshold, but I could not open my eyes I was in so much pain. I was BEGGING for an epidural. They told me they needed to get a bolus going and once the fluids were in, I could have my epidural. I remember saying, “Give me the bag of fluid, I’ll DRINK it!” I needed that epidural. As soon as the epidural was inserted, my face started getting tingly. I told the anesthesiologist that and his response was, “Hmmm, interesting”. Not something you really want to hear. The nurses were all quiet and watching my monitors. My blood pressure dropped to 90/30. They turned me to my left side and I started praying. I was so upset. I kept thinking, “Because I wimped out and went for the epidural, now I’m going to die!!!’ I had to give myself a mental kick in the pants and remind myself that I was giving BIRTH here…LIFE was going on, not death. Within a short period of time, my blood pressure came back up and I was ready to push. Praise the Lord, from that point forward, everything went fine and my darling little boy was in my arms, as perfect as can be.

#4 was another induction—are you seeing a theme here? I hadn’t yet caught onto the whole idea of waiting for the Lord’s timing. I’d get so impatient at the end of a pregnancy, there was always a good reason to “get the show on the road”. This was no exception. We were moving…we needed to have this baby and move, so when induction was mentioned, I jumped on the idea. I really didn’t want an epidural this time. I actually asked for an intrathecal due to what had happened with my previous epidural, but I was told that an epidural is a much better option, they could give me less medication, they’d monitor my blood pressure and so on and so forth. Unfortunately, I had another bad experience. The placement was all wrong. One leg was completely dead while I still felt the other as well as all of the contractions. At one point my leg was lifted and let go of and nearly fell off of my bed (that sure would have been very painful to my poor, overstretched hips) because I was so numb I could do NOTHING to stop it. Thankfully someone was there and caught it. It was horrible. It took at least 6 hours after delivery before I could walk again.

With #5 I was NOT going to have an epidural. But I was induced again at 10 days overdue. I was feeling extreme pressure and like I was sure I was in transition, but when the nurse came in and checked me and told me I was only at a 5, I gave up. “There is no way I can do this if I’m only at a 5”. The anesthesiologist was called. She was wonderful. She assured me everything was going to be just fine. She inserted the epidural with me lying in the fetal position—let me just say, any anesthesiologist who does it in any other way than this during labor is just mean. This was the ONLY time I’ve had it done in this manner, and it was so much better than the “bend over and arch your back and hold very still” method. While she was inserting it, I kept saying, “I need to push, I need to push”. As soon as she was done, the nurse called the doctor who was 20 minutes away to come in. That wasn’t going to work…when I said I needed to push, I NEEDED to push. They grabbed the nearest doctor out of the hallway and my baby girl was delivered!!! The epidural was removed immediately and I was so glad that I got to experience the intensity of the urge to push again and so happy that the epidural didn’t seem to have any ill effect. I knew that I should have trusted my instincts that although I was told I was only at a 5, delivery was imminent. Apparently I’m not one of those women who is in tune with my body…I had believed what the nurse had said and had caved to the thought that I was not strong enough to endure. I had been told, “Just when you think you can’t do it another minute, that’s when you know it’s almost over” and I ignored that wisdom.

Thankfully, God in His wonderful love and mercy decided to bless us with another child…and give me another chance to trust Him and the natural birth process He had created. This time I decided that no one was getting Pitocin anywhere near me. A friend of mine who had also been induced with all of her babies had recently given birth at home (on accident!) and assured me that it childbirth without Pitocin is a horse of a different color. Boy was she right! God was also merciful to me in that I only went 3 days overdue with this baby. I didn’t even know that I was in labor. I was having contractions whenever I’d stand or walk, but as long as I sat, nothing happened. I called my parents and told my husband that I thought we should go to the hospital, just to have them check me. He didn’t think it was anything, but decided to humor me. While I waited for my husband to put our son to bed and waited for my friend to arrive to watch my children, I went for a walk around the block with my son. I had to stop every 1-2 minutes. WHEW! I still didn’t think it was full blown labor though. It took us quite a while to get home and when I sat down, the contractions stopped. Just what I thought…just a false alarm. Oh well, we were going to the hospital regardless—can you believe I even told my parents that since they were coming down, I’d go ahead and be induced if it was nothing?!??! Hadn’t I learned my lesson?? Thankfully God is good—always! I had not a one contraction on the way to the hospital. As soon as I got out of the car, I had a big one. I had them every 1-2 minutes on the walk to labor and delivery. They hemmed and hawed about whether to put me in a room or to keep me in triage. Thankfully they decided on a room. They did not think I was in labor—at all. They checked me and said I was at 4cm. They told me to walk for 1 hour and they’d check me again. I walked and I stopped, walked and breathed. The contractions were coming steady and strong, but still very bearable. After the hour they checked me and told me I was at a 6—so definitely active labor!! I could not believe it. It was NOTHING like the induced labors I had experienced in the past. I had never made it to 6 without begging for mercy!! They had me get into bed so that they could start my IV and I had a quick bite to eat. I had one very strong contraction that kind of surprised me, but in general they were painful, but nothing like I’d experienced in the past. I labored for a short time while we waited for my doctor to arrive to break my water. The contractions continued, but were still bearable. Definitely nothing I’d want to have pain relief for. When my doctor arrived and checked me, he informed me that I was at an 8. WHAT?!?! 8cm with relatively little pain? Was this even possible? He broke my water and said, “Call me when you need me!” This is the same doctor who missed my previous delivery, so I joked with him not to go too far. The contractions came fast and strong. It was hurting. It was hurting pretty bad…it was hurting pretty bad, but OH THE PRESSURE. THE PRESSURE. Oh my, I needed to push….NOW. With no medication masking the natural process, it was so clear what my body was doing. I was so in tune to my body. Someone ran for the doctor and even though he was only at the nurses station, he barely made it in time to catch my beautiful baby boy in his arms. It was the most wonderful experience I had. My body knew exactly what to do…it sent all the signals I needed because I had not interfered with the process. It was perfect. This was also the only birth were I did not tear. I was up and out of bed within a very short period of time because I didn’t have any medication to recover from. I felt FANASTIC! I even realized that I was still wearing my street clothes because everything had happened so fast, I hadn’t even had a chance to change.

It took me 6 children to realize the innate strength and wisdom the Lord has put into our bodies. While I don’t think there is anything inherently “wrong” with pain relief in child birth, I realized that it had inhibited me from being fully aware and present in the process and I missed out on so much. The Lord has blessed us with another pregnancy and if I get the honor of giving birth yet another time, I now know the difference between a birth with medical intervention and one where my body does what it has been created to do naturally. And knowing what I know now, I’d never choose any other way.

Wow, those are quite the stories, Janelle! Thank you so much for sharing those with us! We really appreciate it!

Guest Post- Learning curve- 4 things to remember when breastfeeding after a c-section

Guest Blog post from Anne-Marie from the UK

Please welcome Anne-Marie, whom is visiting our blog today and sharing her story of having a c-section, after vaginal births. She has some good tips for us on recovery after a c-section as well as breastfeeding, which can sometimes be harder after a c-section than a vaginal birth. Thank you for sharing with us, Anne-Marie!

Anne Marie's story: To start, it's probably best to say that I'm British, living in the UK and I have had all five of our children in British hospitals or midwife-led units. Over here, if you are considered low risk in pregnancy, you usually have the choice to either deliver at home, in a midwife unit or in hospital. Pain relief is discussed during prenatal classes and included in your birth plan. At midwife units, you are only able to use entonox, a mixture of oxygen and nitrous oxide that gives a mild analgesic effect at the height of contractions, or in some units pethidine injections. Epidurals are only available at consultant led units and then are fairly uncommon.

Sorry that was so long winded, but it sets the scene for how our deliveries took place. Our first and fourth babies we delivered at a midwife led unit, spontaneous onset of labour and I laboured using breathing techniques and during transition entonox to take the edge off of the pain of pushing, however to be honest, once I really concentrated I was able to deal with the pains and each baby was derived after about an hour and a half of pushing. Baby one delivered back to back and baby four with hands at the side of his face. So not your traditional presentation, but manageable with natural methods, it can be done :)

Babies two and three had fairly straight forward deliveries, however I went overdue by 15 days and 10 days respectively, so I was asked to consider induction. Thankfully each time, the midwives were able to break my waters in order to establish labour. Both babies were delivered after about 14 hours, without pain relief. Due to the term of my pregnancies, I had to deliver at a consultant led unit.

Baby five was a different matter, after my waters breaking, I laboured for about 48 hours with some progress, but everything then stopped. The consultant wanted me to have an epidural to accompany the syntocinon (The UK name for Pitocin) as they were concerned the contractions would be too strong to cope with. When the epidural was in place however, labour recommenced and I dilated to 8cm. The drip was then started after 8 hours, within 10 minutes baby's heartbeat become raised and the consultant decided that I would need an immediate c-section.

From the decision being made, it took just 20 minutes for baby to be delivered. She was perfectly healthy, her cord was approximately 20cm in length and was therefore unable to descend into the birth canal, my placenta had begun to abrupt so praise God for the consultant's quick decision to section me.

Having only had natural deliveries, the recovery time after baby 5 , has been much longer. She took longer to take to nursing then my other babies and I needed to learn to hand express, feed her from my finger tips to encourage her to learn how to latch onto my breast, after a couple of days struggle, she began nursing like a pro and is still exclusively breastfed at 5 months old. It can be done :)

Some tips for breastfeeding after a c-section....

-Use a lanolin based cream to prepare your nipples from about 38 weeks, then after every feed when baby has been born, this helped avoid cracked nipples

- Tummy to Mummy, nose to nipple, helped to ensure better position

-Big mouth, fishy lips was mine and my husband's joke, to get baby to latch better, meaning baby had to open his/her mouth wide and his/her lips should look a bit like a fishes when attached to the breast!

- I asked a midwife to demonstrate how to hand express for baby 5, as I'd never had success with this before, actual showing me really helped and reassured me that I'd got colostrum there for her. Ask for help if you don't know how to do this! It can really boost your confidence.

For recovery after c-section, I would do things a lot differently if I had another! I came out of hospital after 24 hours, wanting to be home with my family, however if I'd have stayed in a little longer I may well have rested more. Again I was used to natural delivery, where I have a 3 hour discharge and 24 hours felt like forever! I got a scar infection, not sure but I think this was probably because I tried to do too much too quickly. I would definately rest more if I had another section and not try to be supermum!

I don't know what protocol is after sections in the US but here I had to get up, remove the dressing and take a shower after 12 hours, personally getting the scar wet seems to make it more uncomfortable, just my opinion though. I'd take my full dose of pain relief after delivery, as I again tried to cut them out asap, we didn't really get any advice about this, but I was concerned about becoming reliant on them! taking arnica tablets from 38 weeks and for 2 weeks postnatally has always helped my body recover, so I did that after my section too, not sure how much it helped but it certainly didn't hinder.- Anne Marie

Thank you for sharing your story with us, Anne-Marie! I hope that it gives mother's some encouragement that even when birth does not go quite the way you planned, it does not have to prevent you from breastfeeding with following a few tips that can help.

Be sure to ask for the support, even if you did not need it in previous births or pregnancies. Remember that everyone is different.

Great Links for the week

This post is excellent on how to make your kitchen work for you after you have a baby.

No Work kitchen for after baby

This link deals with exercise, what kinds to do and what kinds to avoid after a baby.

How to have a stronger, more flat stomach!

Here is some other ideas...on 100 ways to encourage a new mom!