Postpartum Support

"I would love to rest after I have my baby, but I don't have any family around, so I have to jump right back into my daily activities."

"I know other moms need rest after having a baby, but I really need activity to feel good. I start exercising a couple weeks after my baby was born. I did fine with it." 

"I didn't make enough milk for my baby. I had to supplement when she/he was 2 weeks old."

We may have all heard these statements at one time or another. Maybe we said them even, ourselves. 

I know when I had my first baby, I was so pumped up to be done with being pregnant, I was on top of the world. I was sore, didn't feel amazing all the time, but I felt much better than when I was pregnant. I got up and made an apple pie a few days after giving birth. I wanted a pie, and since I felt good, I thought I would do it. 

When I finished, there was a heavy feeling in my legs and my lower abdomen. I felt like I was going to vomit. I finished the pie, and on wobbly legs made my way to bed without eating any. I was so sick feeling. 

I realized later, just because you feel great, doesn't mean you are great. Postpartum, when we take care of yourself, you will feel much better than you might otherwise.  

There are many good things in life, when we are in good or decent health. Exercise is one those things. It can improve your health many times. 

However, after a woman gives birth, no matter how fit she was before she gave birth, is not one of those times. 

Every single woman that gives birth has the same basic things that happen to her. Some women have more complications and others less complications. But we all have a uterus stretched out to about 38-42+ cm. We all have a placenta that is about the size of a small dinner plate at least attached to us. When we give birth, the uterus undergoes a dramatic seize change, the placenta is detached, which leaves a wound that has to heal. The uterus, suspended from our round ligaments, suddenly is decreased in size. Those ligaments need time to not have a heavy ball (the uterus), bouncing around on the end of them like bungie cables. 

1. Take time to rest. Rest will help you to be able to get back to your activities in a healthy manner. If you do not rest, but expend energy into things like exercise, even basic daily activities, in those first ten days to two weeks, your body will have to draw from somewhere else. This means, generally the things that the body first believes to be expendable. Teeth, breastmilk,  and the like are not life threatening if it pulls from those. It believes you must be threatened, if you are expending that much energy after just having a baby. So, it pulls from your bones, your teeth, your milk can decrease or just not come in like it should. Remember to take the time to protect your lifelong health and rest for ten days to two weeks after birth. 
2. Nourish your body. We can get caught in a trap of regaining our figures, right from the very get go after a birth. We are trying to replenish blood, fluids, make milk that is nourishing for our little one if we are breastfeeding, fight infection, make immunities for our new one, and give ourselves strength, just to wake up. It is a lot of work to grow a baby, both inside and out. Even if you are not breastfeeding, you have a lot of work to do to heal yourself. Give yourself good food, and enough of it. Green leafy vegetables, protein, whole grains, healthy fats and lots of fluids without caffeine and sugar are important. If you want to drop pounds, skip the sugar out of anything, but focus on good nutrition. Let your body heal from the inside out. If you are not taking the time to be nourished, you will not be able to recover. You will not be able to be the best mother to your child(ren) and take care of yourself. 
3. Take Help. If someone offers you a meal, to do laundry, or says, "Let me know if you need anything." Please take them up on it. They may be shocked or surprised, but it will help you and you might end up with a closer friend. I know many people do not have anyone that will offer for that, which I feel is very sad, but I totally relate. I had babies without a community around that was helpful on a daily basis, and it is a lonely existence. I highly encourage you, in your pregnancy, to seek out your community beforehand so you have support after birth. If you do not have it in a community, hire some or see if there are resources you can take advantage of  that are not too extending financially. Do not take advantage of others, by expecting a maid service for nothing. But if you have no help, plan on hiring a housecleaner twice in the first two weeks. It will cost about $40-80, depending on who and how long you hire them for. I have seen housecleaners that charge $15 an hour even that do a wonderful job. But when all else fails, remember that your family will not die eating PB and J sandwiches every day, unless they are allergic. They will be filled and fine to do that for two weeks. They may complain, but it is okay to do what you can do and not do the rest. 
4. Don't go back to normal. Normal is overrated. It is really not what you should be doing or planning on doing for at least 4-6 weeks. It is a process that you will work back up to. Give yourself time. Don't rush back to mommy and me class, going to the grocery store or if you are a church goer, back to church. Give yourself time. Check if any places in your area offer a click and pull grocery option. See if a friend can stop and pick up milk, eggs, bread, lunch meat and apples for you. It will not only protect you from the germs that are out and about, but it will tell people that you need help. You need their support and they can feel more free to offer it. 

Postpartum can be a difficult season. But with some planning and careful info on why you are taking care of yourself still, it can help you with your long term health goals. It can also help reduce the risk of postpartum depression or severe baby blues when we care for ourselves in this way.

This post, written by a talented blogger, also shares some good preparation for the postpartum period as well that you might find helpful. "Preparing for Postpartum"

I hope this gives you some hope about the postpartum season. If there was something that really helped you postpartum, would you like to share that with us? We would love to hear it! 

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9 Tips For a Happier Pregnancy

When in my mind I hear the terms "Happier Pregnancy" I see one of those stock photos of a pregnant woman, dressed in white, resting in luxury on  a sofa.  That doesn't quite fit with what the reality of pregnancy often is.

Pregnancy was not the easiest road for me. It was happy, because I was going to have a baby. It was difficult because of everything else that came along with that happy fact.

So based on my experiences, both as a doula, but primarily as a mother that has been pregnant four times, here are my nine tips.

1. Don't push yourself.

 It is so easy to revert to the norms of push until it burns that we have in our everyday lives. This especially pertains to exercise. Exercise is so healthy for you in pregnancy, but if it is hurts, stop. Pushing yourself when your ligaments are relaxing can result in injuries, excessive pain and other fun things to recover from. This is where some of the old wives tales can actually come true as well. Regular exercise that is encouraged by your care provider as being safe is excellent. But listen to your body!

2. Don't obsess about weight gain. 

 Period. Yes, you should not be gaining too much weight. You also should not be gaining too little weight. Remind yourself throughout the process that weight gain is normal and healthy in pregnancy. Low pregnancy weight gain used to be encouraged, until as far  I can find, in the late 1950's to early 1970's the ideas were studied as links to birth defects, issues with low birth weight babies, early babies among others were associated with the lack of pregnancy weight gain. Yes, it helped moms keep their figures, but at what cost?  On the other hand, it is not a time to go on a free for all. If you want to obsess about something, obsess about getting all the foods you need to nourish your baby and body.
Dr. Brewer has some good tips on a healthy diet.
There are other diet related tips that your OB or midwife may offer you.

3. Make sleep a priority whenever you can.
Don't plan evening activities. Plan on a nap time. If you have other little ones, tuck them in for a nap, either behind your legs so you can feel them if they move, or in a crib where you know they cannot escape. If they are not sleeping, this can be the time to utilize those electronics.
Lack of sleep can make you feel sicker during pregnancy, but also you need more sleep while pregnant as well.

Antique Chamber Pot 

(Hopefully not something you will need in pregnancy)

4.  Use pregnancy to your advantage
It only lasts nine months, even though it feels like a lifetime at times. However, use it to your full advantage. While you do not want to be a spendthrift, buy some clothing you feel pretty in. Pregnancy can be an awkward time, and you need clothing that fits well so you don't feel bigger than what you are. A pretty bra or underclothing that is comfortable can be hard to find, but worth the time it takes to look. Just make sure to take regular breaks for water while shopping and wear supportive shoes.

5. Forgo high heels...
Yes, I know they might be all you wear, but for your long term posture and baby positioning, in the long run, you will happier without them. Find some cute shoes that are flats. This will help decrease chances of swelling in your feet and injuries as well. There are plenty of cute shoes that have a low heel or are flats that you can wear for the nine months!

6. Listen to your care provider 
There are times when a care provider will suggest you take an extra vitamin like Calcium and magnesium, or she may suggest walks, eating a different diet. While sometimes it can be hard to understand, or you feel they are not doing anything good for you, listen up! They have your long term health in mind. It can change your pregnancy when you do actually listen to these little things they suggest.

7. Hire Trained Labor Support

I don't just say this because I am a doula, I say this because I have seen what a difference it made for my own births. I have heard every reason in the book why some people don't need one. But in the end, you really will not know unless you try. However, some people think all doulas are crated equal, when this is not true. The best ones have some experience, are knowledgable, but won't make your birth their own. They will be there for you, through whatever happens, for your partner as well, but walk you through the hard and good times. The studies prove that women that have a trained support person have a more positive experience when they are done, no matter the outcome.

8. Plan on saving money for the unexpected
This has more to do with the postpartum period, but saving money during the pregnancy for a little help after the baby comes will make you feel safer and happier during the pregnancy. Money set aside for even things like pizza delivery, extra gas expenses, housecleaning or other odds and ends will really be helpful and give you peace of mind throughout the process.

9. Don't spend a ton of money

Often new parents will have a long list of items that are must haves for a baby. During pregnancy, it seems like you just think they add up. Just wait! Get the essentials. Diapers, basic layette, car seat, receiving blankets and wait for most of the rest. Baby stuff has a way of appearing on the scene when you need it if you let people know. Often it is because they spent a ton of money on it and never used it, or hardly used it. For me, an essential was a swing. My babies slept in a cradle like swing, and didn't use the crib. I am too short for a Boppy pillow, I never used a pump or a bottle, but I did end up wanting a pacifier sometimes. I needed to spend money on a good bra for me, I never used my big stroller hardly, but I used an umbrella stroller all the time. As you have the baby, you see what you really need and what you actually just want.  This can give you more peace in pregnancy and help you to organize the house a little easier.

So, happier already? Are you seeing yourself floating on a pool with your beautiful baby belly glistening in the sun?

Whether you are on a couch or in the pool (which is a good way to stay cool and exercise in the summer while pregnant), I hope this post gave you some ideas to make pregnancy a bit happier!

Breastfeeding and Lactation Cookies

We are so excited once the baby has arrived! The hard work is over! Pregnancy ungainliness, ill-fitting clothing, and aches are all over with! I think many of us prep, think and wonder about the pregnancy, try to avoid thinking about labor and forget all about thinking about how we might cope with breastfeeding. If this is your first baby, this is especially true! I loved this post on some healthy snacks to have prepared for breastfeeding hunger pangs... Also, over at Life as a Mom, she speaks of the real life joys and sorrows of breastfeeding, while all the while rejoicing that she did it. I think that those last few months of preparing before your baby is born, it is a good idea to help prep the fridge, freezer and pantry a bit too. The first 6-8 weeks when you have a new baby, you may be cooking one handed. There will be times you may be starving to death, and just need a quick snack. It is actually more important with breastfeeding to be eating enough calories, and maintaining a healthy diet for your milk supply. A not so unwelcome treat that can actually help your milk supply would be these oatmeal cookies. Don't overdo it, but a couple will help that oatmeal and flax seed go down smooth with a glass of milk or a cup of Mother's Milk tea. These cookies freeze well and are tasty for anyone, not just breastfeeding moms. Last weekend, we served them at a Early Childhood fair and I heard nothing, but compliments on them!

Lactation Cookies From the Kitchen of Martha Artyomenko Serves 50

Ingredients: 2 c. oil 4 eggs

2 c. brown sugar 3 ¼ c. flour (I used whole wheat flour)

1 c. white sugar ¼ c. flax seeds

2 t. vanilla 6 ¼ c. oats (quick cooking)

2 t. baking soda 2 t. baking powder

1 t. salt 2 T. brewers yeast

Directions: Mix oil, sugars, vanilla together. Add eggs one at a time. Mix in all other ingredients. Mix well.

Add craisins, chocolate chips, or M&M’s if desired. Bake at 350 degrees for 12 minutes

This makes a very large batch, but you can freeze them well.

Body Image in pregnancy

"Oh, look at that cute belly!!! Can I touch?" The sentence seems like it gets said a lot to pregnant moms. The asking if they can touch, not always as much as they ask as they are touching.

But if you are a mom who feels ungainly and ugly in pregnancy, you are not alone.
Many women struggle, even though in others eyes, they are beautiful and are told so.
They see the love handles that they wished were gone before they had to gain this mandatory weight. They glimpse the cellulite that is on their thighs, with the extra weight gain has become more apparent. The stretch marks on the stomach that you wonder if those models in the pregnant mom shoot covered with makeup....

What are some things we can do to combat this?

I have found that having a plan for a healthy weight gain can help us not only during pregnancy, but afterwards as well.

- Talk to your care provider about a healthy weight gain for you. It varies from person to person, depending on your weight.
- Figure out a calorie goal or the types of foods you should be eating every day as a pregnant mom. I found that aiming for the foods I had to eat was easier than focusing on the things I shouldn't eat. It can be very filling if you make yourself eat 7-9 servings of vegetables, 4-6 servings of fruits, 2 grains, 2-3 servings of protein, 2-4 servings of milk. I suffered from an intolerance of sugar in my pregnancies, it was not gestational diabetes, but just made me very ill. Cutting out sugar though really helped me to gain weight that came off easier.
-I also had one day a week, I could have a treat if I wanted it. That helped because you were not limiting yourself completely.
- Make an exercise plan. This can be anything as simple as a walk everyday....from 5-15 minutes daily at least. Vary your routine, making it one day, you do exercises while cleaning the kitchen. The next day you play ball with your kids, and the next day take a walk.

Spend some money on at least one pretty thing that you feel good in for your pregnancy. It might be a new bra, some wonderful smelling lotion, a pretty shirt or dress. Often we do not spend money on ourselves when we are pregnant as it is such short time, but I think it can really effect our pregnancy, when our mood is down and we do not feel good about ourselves.

Eating Issues in pregnancy

Pregnancy is when you are eating for two!!! Most women are excited to learn about the extra calories they will need while pregnant with their little one...but there are some women who honestly struggle with the weight gain in pregnancy.

Body Image issues are common in our society today. We all know the magazine covers in the grocery store showing so and so's new flab they tried to cover up, or the good shot of someone's ribs showing through a bathing suit or just a perfect model's body that we know we will never have.

Eating disorders are becoming more and more common in daily life, and many women who struggle with them, you may never know they struggle as they might not be 84 lbs. and look like death warmed-over. They may be your neighbor who looks like she struggles with her weight or the person whom you are jealous of her figure.
They may not struggle with a full on eating disorder, but they may have eating issues.

I have seen many eating issues that actually originate with good intentions. The fad that has been going around with cutting out different food groups, types of foods and avoiding groups of foods. Cleanses, excessive vitamins, excessive exercise among other things can be dangerous to your baby while pregnant.

While some of them may sounds good to start with, if you tend towards worrying about your body image while not pregnant, it is a good idea to get some extra support while pregnant.

Some ideas that can help you:
1)Have someone help you make a healthy diet plan- this could be a doctor, midwife, but it could also be a doula or a good friend who has a balanced diet.
2) Make sure to avoid drastic cutting out. Don't cut out main food groups while pregnant. It is normal for your stomach to be more sensitive while pregnant, but cutting out wheat, dairy and all acid based vegetables can really limit the amount of calories you can ingest. When you are not taking in enough calories while pregnant, sometimes you will still gain weight like normal, but it can leach minerals and strength from your own body.
3) Take your vitamins, but don't go over the top on them. Too many vitamins does not replace a poor diet.
4) Exercise daily. Make sure you are not under exercising or over exercising. If you are limiting your food intake, and overexercising, your baby can suffer. This is especially important after you have the baby, and are breastfeeding. Excessive exercise, with limited food means your breast milk can be the first to go.
5) Remember that when you do not eat a food for awhile, it can hurt your stomach when you try it. Plain old food can hurt your stomach if you do not eat for awhile. Remember the holocaust victims? Many of them died from eating plain food because their stomachs could not handle too much too fast. You need to eat small meals, frequently, that are full of protein, vegetables, whole grains and some fruit and dairy. Limit sugars or completely avoid! Add some good fats into your diet, but make sure you are not rejecting food simply based on not wanting to get sick.

Question:
So, how do I plan a healthy diet, when I have a fear of gaining weight? I plan meals and then I don't eat them, as I sit down and I feel ill after putting a bite in my mouth as I see the weight just piling on? I am gaining weight in spite of not eating. Why is it so important?

Answer:
I know that it is easy to think when you are gaining weight that you must be doing fine. There are other things to think about though. Weight gain is not the only thing to worry about. When you are limiting your intake, you are limiting the amount of food that is going to the placental development, which feeds your baby. When you are not eating, the body has to burn some of your fat stores, which produces ketones. Ketones can be dangerous to your baby as it can be toxic when this source of nutrition passes to the baby.

Question:
I don't want anyone to know or think I have a problem? Isn't an eating disorder considered a mental illness?

Answer:
Being honest with yourself and your care provider can be the safest thing for you and your baby. It is hard to admit we have a problem, but it can be the best thing all around. They can understand your struggles with not wanting to be weighed better that way, give you tips on how to provide nutrition to your baby, even when you do not want to eat.

Question:
I want to breastfeed my next baby. I struggled breastfeeding my previous baby, but I wanted to lose weight right away. I couldn't stand the jelly belly. How can I lose weight and breastfeed?

Answer:
Breastfeeding requires a minimum of 1500 calories a day. That is not counting for the excess you will need to maintain your health. You need to figure out what you need to maintain a adequate milk production. Exercise in moderation can help with tightening muscles that got stretched out in pregnancy, but a healthy diet. The weight will come off with a healthy diet and moderate exercise. Breastfeeding is important to your baby's health and the sacrifice of waiting to lose that last bit of weight can be an important sacrifice for the future health of your baby. Lack of calories will cut back on your milk production and can put you at risk for PPD.


Some good resources to read:
Dealing with eating issues in pregnancy

Pregnancy complications with mothers with eating disorders